You’re starting to know me. My mission is to challenge established wedding traditions and guide you in exploring creative weddings, far from the beaten path.
In this article, I invite you to share my reflections by questioning five traditions that are often perpetuated without really knowing why.
Of course, you’re free to do as you wish, but for a moment, let’s try to look at these rituals from a different perspective.
1. The Bouquet Toss
Dried flower bouquet in Dr. Martens feeligrans.com
This well-known tradition usually gathers unmarried women around the bride. However, this practice raises questions of discrimination, sexism, ageism, and ableism. More inclusive alternatives are worth exploring.
The ritual is still a hit. The bride, with her back to a group of single women, tosses her bouquet into the air, triggering a frenzied rush. But beyond the glamour, questions arise about this tradition.
The trendy variant, the ribbon pull: the bride holds her bouquet up, surrounded by ribbons, with women each grabbing a ribbon. A round follows, and the bride cuts or unties the ribbons one by one. Photos of this sequence are absolutely stunning, Instagram-worthy.
Yet, three exclusionary criteria guide the “casting”: being female, single, and young. A discriminatory trio raising questions about sexism, ageism, and even ableism, because yes, you have to jump to catch the bouquet.
Add the cost factor, which sometimes forces couples to buy a second, cheaper bouquet for tossing, keeping the first as a lucky charm.
But, of course, everyone has their point of view. Some couples are revolutionizing the practice by tossing the bouquet to all genders present. Others choose to honor a special person instead, avoiding a mini free-for-all in tight dresses.
So, why the obsession with the bouquet? Why does only “she” get the privilege of having it? The symbolism wavers between the fake toss and the real kept bouquet. The question: keep it or ditch it?
Ultimately, the choice is yours. In weddings, everyone is free to follow tradition to the letter or reinvent it.
What do you think? The bouquet toss: a tradition to modernize or eliminate?
2. Matching Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
Inspired by social media and Pinterest images, this trend can sometimes be a bit tricky to pull off.
In these stunning shots, elegantly dressed friends create a perfect harmony of dresses and suits, framing a radiant couple at the center.
It looks amazing in photos, you might say. But the reality is another story. You need a whole army of friends willing to play along, buy matching outfits, which can be expensive. Some couples are flexible about style, others about color. The lingering question: who pays?
If you have a crew of friends ready to share this moment enthusiastically, go for it! But if you prefer quality over quantity in friendships, avoid recruiting a whole team just for the big day. Outfit choices can become a source of stress, adding unnecessary mental load.
Personally, I support the idea of an “Honor Team” without gender distinctions, or even just a single person of honor. No need for an entire tribe if it doesn’t resonate with you.
So, what do you think of this tradition? Keep it or eliminate it? Share your thoughts!
3. Wedding Rings
Wedding rings are the traditional symbols of marital commitment. Yet, not everyone is a fan of rings. Why insist on wearing them if they don’t match your style or values? Other symbols can be just as meaningful.
Rings, those small special bands that seal commitment during a wedding ceremony—an ancient symbol that persists in our traditions, but raises legitimate questions.
In my circle, many people don’t wear jewelry daily, let alone rings. Some buy these precious bands only to stash them in a drawer.
The question is valid: why insist on buying rings if you don’t like them? Is it absolutely necessary to formalize your union?
The issue extends to the uniqueness of the ring. Why have only one ring, chosen according to current trends? What happens when it no longer matches anything in ten years?
And what about the engagement ring, often given to the woman in heterosexual couples? Can she change it if she no longer likes it? Ethical questions about jewelry sourcing and the limited appeal of the second-hand market also enter the conversation.
Beyond rings, consider other symbols that might better reflect your personality. Necklaces, bracelets, tattoos, sculptures—why not choose something deeply meaningful rather than follow rituals repeated without understanding?
What do you think? Should we maintain the tradition of wedding rings, or is it time to retire it?
4. Guest Favors
Historically, sugared almonds were the classic choice to thank guests for attending. Today, options abound, from candles to personalized honey jars. Yet as a wedding planner, I despair when these gifts are left abandoned on tables or forgotten in drawers.
Gendered gifts aren’t helping either: scented soap for her, a small bottle of rum for him.
If you truly want to delight your guests, why not opt for a memorable experience? A photobooth with a photographer, for example, provides personalized and fun memories.
Ask yourself: what best reflects your personality and wedding style while delighting your guests? Will we stick to traditional sugared almonds or choose a modern, memorable experience?
5. The Bride’s Entrance on Her Father’s Arm
This wedding tradition dates back to a time when marriages were often arranged, and the bride was seen as property of her family. If this doesn’t reflect your family reality, why continue it? Many alternatives exist to make the entrance special.
The idea that the bride must enter on her father’s arm is rooted in custom, but is it still relevant? Historically, it symbolized the transfer of responsibility from the bride’s family to her future husband—a notion now debatable.
But what if the father is absent, deceased, or the bride has no connection with him? Some couples prefer to break with this tradition, and that’s completely valid.
Alternatives exist: enter as a team together, walk solo to assert independence, make a family entrance if you have children, or choose a meaningful person to accompany you.
So, what will we do with this tradition? Keep it or opt for alternatives that reflect our values and family reality?
Of course, the decision is yours. You’re free to keep these traditions if they have meaning for you. The essential thing is to choose elements that match your personality and vision for your wedding.
